John reads from a card the Mayor has passed to him. You grasp it, not taking your eyes off the ceremony. Next to you, Dave surreptitiously brushes your hand with his. The Mayor, dapper in a tailored suit and extra-tall top hat, reaches up and joins their hands together.

Now Rose is reciting her vows under a flower-strewn arch while Kanaya watches her, eyes brimming with emotion. The boundaries, to you, are uncomfortably blurred. Eventually you came to understand that, although “love” was a flexible word that could mean different things depending on whether you were talking about people, pastimes, or pizza, when it referred to romance, it included-and allowed for-a fuzzier range of emotions and attractions than matespritship or moirallegiance alone. After you finally let her in on your confused clutch of feelings regarding Dave, she and you spent many an hour debating matespritship, moirallegiance, and human love versus troll pity. Kanaya, ages ago on the meteor, was always several steps ahead of you when it came to understanding the humans. But you’re still not sure why she feels it’s necessary. Ever since they came for dinner and told you and Dave their news, you’ve had a front-row seat to the production of this peculiar but romantic phenomenon you’ve seen played out so many ways on your husktop screen. To be honest, you are vaguely boggled about Kanaya human-marrying Rose. Karkat: Boggle vacantly at these wedding shenanigans.

Trickster dave